Cancer and Gossip

So some of you know that my mom was diagnosed with Breast Cancer a couple of weeks ago. The last 30 days have been a real whirlwind of tests, doctors, more tests and eventually a plan of attack! When I first found out about my mom's cancer, I reacted like most people would in this circumstance: I was angry, mad, discouraged and afraid. I mean we are talking about my mom, things like this don't happen to my mom. They happen to other people's mom's but not mine!


As we have gone through each step and eventually have learned the dreaded news I have been strong for my mom because I know that is what she needs at this time but on the inside I was falling apart. My dear husband simply didn't know what to do for me and I couldn't give him an answer as to what I needed. On the actual day we learned the news, I was at work and I calmly listen to my mom explain to me the situation. Once I was off the phone though, I was a goner, I ran to the bathroom and sobbed for 15 minutes. When I finally emerged, I simply packed up my stuff and went home. That was a long drive home. At that moment all I needed was to crawl into my bed and pull the covers over my head. I wanted to ignore it because it simply wasn't possible. However when a loved one tells you the dreaded news that they have cancer, every possible situation will play out in your head. (Believe me it does.) Some of those images and thoughts are not very pretty either. However through this I have had to maintain a certain maturity about the situation and remain positive. (After all I am a 12 hour/750 mile drive away from my mom and there isn't much I can do for her but be strong and move forward with life.) However I knew that there would be and still may be moments that I am simply not myself and those around me would be affected by it. Especially those people I work with. So with that I elected to only tell a couple of people at the office and swore them to secrecy. Why the secrecy? Simple, the people in my office just "LOVE" to gossip. In general, I tend to be a private person anyway and I don't like to share everything that is going on in my life. Frankly, I don't like to be the topic of gossip and this is especially true at my office. However I learn that it doesn't matter who you swear to secrecy, in the end someone still talks. Maybe because it is the dreaded cancer and people let it slip out. I don't really know. All I know is that I hate being blind-sided by another employee who inquires about my mom, when I know I didn't tell about her situation. And it is equally frustrating when that employee won't tell who told them, just that they had heard it from a lot of people!!



Unfortunately, my mom had a similar experience this week, only the problem was actually worse for her because she hadn't told anyone at her office, especially her boss. She wasn't planning on telling anyone at her office about her cancer yet until the final treatment plan had been put into place. My mom, like me, is a private person, so she didn't want to tell her boss about anything until she knew for sure. The other reason she didn't want to tell him, is that he isn't the most supportive of individuals and my mom and he simply don't get along. However, my mom was planning on talking with him this week since her surgery is next week. So my mom approached him on Monday to tell him and actually learned that he already knew about it. Apparently, someone from outside the my mom's work shared the dreaded cancer new with someone else who knows my mom's boss and that individual told my mom's boss. Talk about being blind-sided! He has known about for almost as long as her and he never approached her about it??? The one good thing that did come out of her meeting, was he did tell her to do what she needs to in order to get better! (That's a first!) I imagine in the weeks to come, he may come to regret that statement! Oh well!!!