Cancer and Gossip

So some of you know that my mom was diagnosed with Breast Cancer a couple of weeks ago. The last 30 days have been a real whirlwind of tests, doctors, more tests and eventually a plan of attack! When I first found out about my mom's cancer, I reacted like most people would in this circumstance: I was angry, mad, discouraged and afraid. I mean we are talking about my mom, things like this don't happen to my mom. They happen to other people's mom's but not mine!


As we have gone through each step and eventually have learned the dreaded news I have been strong for my mom because I know that is what she needs at this time but on the inside I was falling apart. My dear husband simply didn't know what to do for me and I couldn't give him an answer as to what I needed. On the actual day we learned the news, I was at work and I calmly listen to my mom explain to me the situation. Once I was off the phone though, I was a goner, I ran to the bathroom and sobbed for 15 minutes. When I finally emerged, I simply packed up my stuff and went home. That was a long drive home. At that moment all I needed was to crawl into my bed and pull the covers over my head. I wanted to ignore it because it simply wasn't possible. However when a loved one tells you the dreaded news that they have cancer, every possible situation will play out in your head. (Believe me it does.) Some of those images and thoughts are not very pretty either. However through this I have had to maintain a certain maturity about the situation and remain positive. (After all I am a 12 hour/750 mile drive away from my mom and there isn't much I can do for her but be strong and move forward with life.) However I knew that there would be and still may be moments that I am simply not myself and those around me would be affected by it. Especially those people I work with. So with that I elected to only tell a couple of people at the office and swore them to secrecy. Why the secrecy? Simple, the people in my office just "LOVE" to gossip. In general, I tend to be a private person anyway and I don't like to share everything that is going on in my life. Frankly, I don't like to be the topic of gossip and this is especially true at my office. However I learn that it doesn't matter who you swear to secrecy, in the end someone still talks. Maybe because it is the dreaded cancer and people let it slip out. I don't really know. All I know is that I hate being blind-sided by another employee who inquires about my mom, when I know I didn't tell about her situation. And it is equally frustrating when that employee won't tell who told them, just that they had heard it from a lot of people!!



Unfortunately, my mom had a similar experience this week, only the problem was actually worse for her because she hadn't told anyone at her office, especially her boss. She wasn't planning on telling anyone at her office about her cancer yet until the final treatment plan had been put into place. My mom, like me, is a private person, so she didn't want to tell her boss about anything until she knew for sure. The other reason she didn't want to tell him, is that he isn't the most supportive of individuals and my mom and he simply don't get along. However, my mom was planning on talking with him this week since her surgery is next week. So my mom approached him on Monday to tell him and actually learned that he already knew about it. Apparently, someone from outside the my mom's work shared the dreaded cancer new with someone else who knows my mom's boss and that individual told my mom's boss. Talk about being blind-sided! He has known about for almost as long as her and he never approached her about it??? The one good thing that did come out of her meeting, was he did tell her to do what she needs to in order to get better! (That's a first!) I imagine in the weeks to come, he may come to regret that statement! Oh well!!!

Double Dates

Whoever said double dating wasn't any fun, obviously did not have good double daters! In what has become a monthly ritual for us, Matthew and I embarked on double date night with our good friends Jodie and Richard. This time our double date consisted of movies, dinner and Texas Hold'em. Yes I did say movies! Our group could not collectively decide on a movie to go to, so the girls went one way and the guys another! The ladies decided on a "Girlie Period/Historical Piece" aka "The Other Bolyne Girl" and the gents decided on the "Manly man adventure". (Although we did learn that 10,000 BC does have a love story woven into the adventure and in fact is the whole basis for the plot! Hmmm!!!)

Then it was off to Johnny Carino's where we indulged in a love dinner, even if our waitress was less than enthusiastic! I am not sure it had something to do with Richard trying to do her job or the fact he planned to drink his way through the menu by having one of each flavor Italian sodas. (I personally am going with the doing the waitress' job, after all you did sling olive oil all over the table!!)

We then returned to their house for a game of Texas Hold'em. Eventually Richard will learn that this isn't a game to play with Melissa! Why? I have won each and every time we have played. I am what you would call the "silent but deadly" type of player. I won't win each hand but I win when it counts and usually when the pot is big! (Right Richard!) We also can't forget to mention the drinking! Yes the gents were double fisting it again! A few months ago, Richard introduced my husband to a select reserve of Southern Comfort! Now mind you this is Matthew's favorite spirit! So of course being introduced to it only makes one want to have it more often. Unfortunately, this rare selection is only available in England and it is unclear when the next dosage is coming. The gents did end up finishing off the bottle and the pictures below depict their final salute to that great bottle of liquor.

(In the end I was convinced that Richard was going to fall asleep with the bottle tucked into the crook of his arm, because every so often after the bottle had been emptied he would pick it up and suck a few more drops of that precious peach brandy and then caress the bottle!)

Rough Week

This has been a rough week for me. It started off alright but in my efforts to get my home ready for a new dining room table and chairs, I over did it and wretched by lower back. (I was out of week one full day and partial on two days which is never good!) I also sure that some of my back problems are attributed to stress as well. I have been waiting for about three weeks to find out more about my new job including title and who I would be reporting too! Yes this is extremely important to me, because for the last 3 years my boss has been a complete moron. It was my hope that I would once again report to our President. However over the last couple of weeks I began to get concerned that there was new direction our company was taking and I would be reporting to another complete moron whom I don't get along with at all. So much so that I began to consider getting my resume ready as I refuse to report to this individual! But the end of my worries came today. My new title is "Regional Sales Manager" and before anyone asks (except Matthew who beat me to the punch) I don't know what region! Originally my team mate and I had made a suggestion for Director of Business Development titles but apparently that was overruled for some lame reason! In the new organization chart both of us will be reporting to the President which is a very good thing! Now if we get just start with the traveling bit of the job I may find myself of some use in the weeks to come!

Acts of Kindness

I know it has been awhile since I have blogged, I guess that is the problem with having an extremely busy life and a computer that is partially works! Last week I was approached by a good friend and co-worker to inquiry about my blood type. It seems that my co-worker's daughter who is scheduled for surgery later this week needed to stock pile some blood. So without thinking and really knowing what my blood type was I jumped up and said I would donate. (Side Note: I've never donated blood before!) So began the worst bureaucratic nightmare that I have embarked on in a very long time. What we believed would be a simple blood donation at our nearest Kaiser facility turned into a 3.5 hour trip to Hades. In the end things worked out well and we finally we able to donate at yet another Kaiser facility. All I can say is that someone should have warned me about the needle and I am really thankful I am not a member of Kaiser.

So on Monday I was approached by the same co-worker who once again wanted convey his heartfelt thanks at my willingness to donate and that he and I needed to talk. He came into my office and proceeded to tell me that he and his wife had a very ambitious travel schedule for this year and that they wanted to give Matthew and I their timeshare in Maui. With their other travel commitments they weren't going to be able to use the timeshare and didn't want to loose it. So as a way to say "Thank You!" they decided to give us the timeshare. I was dumbfounded! I never in million years expected anything so extravagant for simply donating my blood. Of course I gave the appropriate response and said it was too much and we couldn't accept it. But I knew I was in for a loosing battle, so I graciously accepted the gift! Can you believe it! I have never been to Hawaii so this is like a dream come true! Warm sand, cool beaches, beautiful flowers and great food!

Anyone have the "must do" list for Maui? Please share!

Uncle Sam's Take

So today I worked on the dreaded income taxes. Yes, I still prepare our income tax filings. However, I really do hate this time of year. The process is tedious and each time I sit down to do it, I cringe! I firmly believe that Uncle Sam has all he needs and he doesn't really need to have the precious amount of money that Matthew and I contribute involuntarily each year! I could do so much more with that money if it stayed in my hands rather than with those imbeciles on Capitol Hill. I will say though, that Matthew and I have been lucky over the years to not get hit too hard and we manage to get a return each year! The only problem is it gets smaller and smaller each time.

Now I know what you are all thinking, have a kid! Yeah right! With this year's election just around the corner, I have to wonder if even having a kid will help us for next year's tax return or not. I seriously doubt it! In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if next year Matthew and I will have to pay back the nice refund we are getting this year along with the refund we are going to get from the Bush's Federal stimulus package. Oh well...I guess I will enjoy what money we receive from the government and do something FUN with it!